What if we chose to be more curious about difference?

Our reactions to the unknown

A repeating loop

On this National Day of Truth and Reconciliation, I can't help but note, with a certain sadness, the extent to which history tends to repeat itself...

And I'm not trying to diminish the importance of this day and the victims it highlights - quite the contrary. 

Instead, I'm trying to see how we can learn from the past to reduce the chances of such events happening again. 

Our defense mechanisms

The first thing that comes to mind is: how do we react to the unknown, to difference, to fear? Our answers will vary according to our life experiences and the situation, of course. 

We're often told about our three survival mechanisms when faced with a stressful or threatening element: fight, flight or stand still. 

Do you recognize yourself in any of these mechanisms? 

Changing the course of things, one perception at a time

Welcoming difference: some food for thought

Far from wishing to go into an in-depth analysis of fear and our various defense mechanisms, I'm trying instead to see how we can approach difference and fear differently (when our lives are not in imminent danger, of course). 

For example, when we find ourselves confronted with a situation, whether at work or at home, with friends or family, what would happen if we tried to welcome difference rather than confront it?

What if we showed a certain curiosity to find out more about the other person's opinion or perception? Maybe it would enrich our own vision of things? Or maybe it would just reinforce our own position in a given situation. 

Listening to others, to better understand them

Whatever the outcome, the simple act of listening and showing a certain interest in the other person and his or her perception of things often allows us to defuse our own defense mechanisms and make decisions more consciously rather than reactively. 

We all have our own baggage of experiences, which means that in a given situation, we could all react quite differently. 

The same situation, 3 different perceptions

I'm always fascinated by the way my sisters perceive the story of their youth, which is often very different from my own. 

Is their perception wrong? Is mine the only correct perception of events? 

Of course not! All three of us have the "right" perception of events based on our experience at the time. 

Talking about it openly allows us to better understand the other person.

Need a helping hand?

This is precisely one of the benefits of coaching: helping us to broaden our horizon of perception of a given event or situation. 

Often, we don't realize that our current perception can prevent us from seeing further, from finding new avenues or new solutions. 

I like the image of a black cloud over our heads, blocking out the sunlight.

I warmly invite you to try it! It's liberating! And it's free for the first introductory session!